Page 32 - 1930

30 "THE GLEANER"
lastingly howling out, "Eileen Alan- na," as if its heart would break. By the time the car reached the bridge Burdock was in a cold perspiration; the conductor had checked off seven passengers too many, and was tear- ing his hair on the platform, and the box, after going through its entire collection of tunes, looked as quiet and innocent as a rubber doll.
Sinoe it required all Burdock's self-control to prevent himself fr'ml heaving it into the river it was with a sigh of relief that he handed it over to be fixed.
Saturday, on his way home, he stopped at the place where he had left it, and finding it repaired, put it in the pocket of his overcoat and started off home, forgetting all about it on his arrival at the house.
On Sunday all the family turned out to church, Burdock ushering them in. Then he closed the pew door, hung his overcoat over it, took up a hymn book, and was glancing around when the forgotten music-
box in his ov·ercoat p3cket, all at once struck up "Lanigan's Ball."
The minister, dropping the notices he was looking over, gazed blankly around; the deacons sprang up and glared in every direction; the con- gregation twisted their heads, c•ran- ing their necks, until their gaze fix- ed itself wonderingly on the choir, while the choir ,stared idiotically back in return. The Burdocks alone kept their eyes glued to the front, their faces assuming the fashion- able cardinal hue, and Burdock could be heard muttering fragments of emphatic language seldom heard in a gospel house.
After playing one verse, the mel- ody ceased, and the Burdocks' hearts which had been standing still, beat once more. Presently the excitement died down so that everything was quiet again. The minister arose, and
was in the act of glVmg the text, when a lady, who was late, sailed up the aisle, and chancing to brush against Burdock's overcoat, started off the music-box into a perfect fury of "Tommy, Sit Down by Your Aunty."
The minister paused, and frown- ed severely ; the deacons shot up from their seats as if they were on springs, the congregation tittered, and Burdock felt sick all over as he made a savage kick at his coat, which merely had the effect of changing the tune so that it pealed forth now, "The Night Before Larr~r was Stretched."
Burdock felt that every eye in the church was watching as he made an- other side kick at it; when a sub- dued whirr followed, he was con- gratulating himself on having hope- lessly ruined it when it sudden!~
broke out louder than a troupe ot minstrels with the inspiring strain of the "Mulligan Guards."
Bv the time it had olayed two ver- ses ·anJ was corr~menoing a third, five deacons had arrived at the pew door and were interviewing Bur- dock, while the entire congregation were standing on their toes to have a look at him. Burdock tried to ex- plain, but seven new deaco~s camP. up and accused him of sacnlege oi
the church. "Go to the mischief, the whole caboodle of you!", he exclaim- ed, climbing over the back of the seat and making for the door.
One of the deacons followed him with his hat and overcoat, the musio box playing "When Johnny Comes Marching Home," as the grave-faced deacon carried it at arm's length down the middle aisle.
Burdock and his family are at- tending another church now, and the music-box is buried under four tons of anthracite coal in the cellar.