Page 64 - 1931

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Storey-She seems like a good sensible girl.
McKay-Yeah! She wouldn't speak to me either.
-Acta Victoriana
McLean- Why is it that women, especially young women, can't raise a moustache?
Trotter-Did you ever see grass grow on a race track? .
-Napanee "Torch''.
Stapes..,.........How did they , discover iron?
"P~rk'' Robertson-! think they sm,elt it.
"After I had sung my encore, I heard a man in the front row shollt "Fine! Fine!"
"Dear me! And did you have to pay it?"
bright student thought deeply for awhile arid at last stated "Because he wasn't."
The basketball game was a rath- er slow affair and the crowd was disappointed. Suddenly Bernhardt broke away and raced under the basket. "Shoot Pete, shoot Pete", shouted a girl in the gallery.
"Why pick on Pete?" said a sour looking fan. "Why not shoot the whole team."
Miss Clark was determined to go horse back riding. Down she went to the livery to get the inside dope on the great outdoor sport.
"Have you ever ridden before?" asked the liveryman.
"No, I haven't", said Miss Clark.
'";Well, that is !fine," he Tiephed. "I have a new horse here that has never been ridden before. You can both start together."
Sonny: "And you say this tonic is rapid and infallible."
Barber: "It's miraculous, sir."
Sonny: "Fine, grow me a head of light blonde hair, trim it on the back and sides, put a wave in it and part it in the middle- and cton't be long, I have to get to school by 1.30."
Harry Jackman asked to see the latest models in spring suits at O'- Brien and Hewso,n's.
Mr. O'Brien obligingly showed him several new suits.
"I'll take that one," said Harry, if you'll make any alterations 1 wish."
"Sure,' said Mr. O'Brien, "altera- tions are all free."
"Good!" answered Harry. "Just change the price from $27.B5 to $17.95 and I'll take the suit with me." ·
Bill Clark: "The notes start O.K. on this cornet but it stands to rea- son that after they've gone around two or three turns, some of them are bound to be out of tune."
In literature class the teacher asked the following question, "Why are we certain that Henry will nev- er forgive Cardinal Wolsey?" ex-
.pecting him to quote three instanc- es where the Cardinal's enemies had been giv~n powerful positions. The