Page 64 - 1930

62 ".THE GLEANER"
Mr. Milhausen was stuck. The old Oakland wouldn't budge. Mr. Mil- hausen climbed out to crank it.
Around and around,. the :mlighty arm of Mr. Milhausen pushed, shov- ed, and gently coaxed the crank. Suddenly a gentle touch on his shoulder caused him to look up, and as he mopped his perspiring face, a sweet young thing asked: "How far will it go before you have to wind it 'Up again?"
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~ongster-Y o u c a n m a k e f u n o f my singing, but I stand alone when it comes to social behaviour.
Jack Ironsides - Gosh! Hasn't someone told you about Listerine '!
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You can't .stop a man from think- ing. "But," says Miss Clark, "How do you ever get one started?"
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Dramatic ability is Don Currie's gift of looking sorry when the class is informed that Miss Ness will have to stay home for a week ou account of a severe cold.
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Sonny-! can read your mind like a book, Miron. I know just what you are thinking about.
Alf.-Well, why don't you go there?
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Mrs. Atty-Hurry up, hurry up! your car is at the door.
Mr. Atty-I know. I can hear it knocking.
coasting.
Go,ofer-Did you ever take An-
cient History?
Snooper-Where to'!
Goofer-I mean did you ever learn
Ancient History in School. Snooper-Oh, I see, it's a new
game they've got, eh?
Goofer-I'll teaerh you some. It's
about the Greeks.
Snooper-A restaurant story? Goofer-No. There were small
short men in Greece until a big tribe of giants came down and shoved them into the sea.
Snooper-Didn't they get their feet wet?
Goofer-History doesn't relate. Snooper-How late? Goofer-Then there was a fellow
called Homer.
Snooper-Home run king, eh? Goofer-No, he wrote poems. Snooper-Another good guy gone
wrong.
Goofer-He wrote arbout the fall
of Troy.
Snooper-Didn't she hurt herself? Goofer-There was a fellow who
wrote a play. It was about the ideal state.
Snooper-Ohio or Tenessee?
G o o f e r - W h a t d i d Tennes~ee? Snooper-She saw what Arkansas. Goofer-Samoa your wise cracks,
P.h? Call the Bosphorus and we'll kick you out.
Snooper-Do you know Chemis- try.
Goofer-Who? Snoo;per-Chemistry isn't a per-
son. lt's like this, if you mix Sul- phuric acid with a nitrate-
Gooier-Day rates are cheaper.
Snooper-If you mix sulphuric acid with a nitrate you get ..... .
Goofer-I don't know what you get, but I'd get out.
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Said a bald-headed man to the wait· ress bold:
'Look here, woman! My cocoa's cold' She replied scornful, "I can't help
that
If the blamed thing is cold, put on your hat."
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B i l l f._lled~Pop, , ' q u i c k ! ' cow is in our yard.
C r o n e ' ; s
Mr. Sled-She is? Run and tell Ted to get the bucket and milk her before she gets away.
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Miss Wales told her gym class to lie on their backs and move their feet in the motions of paddling a bicycle. All went well until Miss Wales no- ticed that Marg. Hunter had stopped.
Miss Wales (with her school- teacher frown)-Why are you stop- ping, Miss Hunter?
Margaret (with her famed laugh) -I'm just coasting, ole-timer, just ·