Page 66 - 1930

Miss Moir (reading)-The beavers built their huts in which they kept their young and reared them. What does the expression 'reared them' mean'?
John Madden-It means they turned them around and made them go backwards.
And the ventilators simply howled.
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Hartman-We never use them new fangled scales in Clarksburg. There's an easy way to weigh a pig
.without sc,ales. You get a plank and put it across a big stool. Then you get a big .stone. Put the stone on one end of the plank and the pig on the other. Shift the plank till they balance. Then all you have to do is to guess the weight of the stone and you've got the weight of the pig. We are a smart bunch in Clarksburg.
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J.aCtk Portland and Harcld Ring
were visiting tthe Zoo in 'Tonmto. Jack was giving Shortfcllow a few pointers. "When you see a sign 'to the lions,' or 'to the monkey cage', you'll see some mighty fine animals if you follow the arrow, but there's one sign which says 'to the exit' and its a big fraud. When I went to see it I found myself outside."
Harry Sproule-When you were on your holidays where did you stop at'!
Don-Nothing, Harry, nothing.
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Atty (in fourth form)-Who were the Phrygii?
Guillie (waking up)-The Eskim- os, sir.
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Editor-Your poems contain some sparkling gems.
Bill Newby-Indeed?
Editor-Y eah. You should have s\J:::n them flash when the flames caught them.
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Arguing about the respective m€r- its of Nottawa and Collngwood, John had just finished telling how when some workmen were excavating at the sandpile near Currie's house that they dug up some telephone wires which proved that the primitive in- habitants of Collingwood had u.sed the telephone. Bill wasn't going to let Nottawa take it on the nose like that, however, so he told how when he was diggng in the garden last summer ,be dug down and down and he e>ame to nothing which proves
the early inhabitants of Nottaw.a used wireless.
1"fHE 0tEANER"
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Helen-What's a Grecian urn'?
Neil-Oh, about $25 a week if he doesn't run a cafe.
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"You are a lemon" the young man
cried, as he hugged her, just to tea::;c her.
"If that's the case," she quick re- plied, "Then you're a lemon .squeez- er."
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Dr. Arthur-I've spent a pile of money sending Noel to sehool and all I've got is a quarterback.
**** Jack-When I come to that turn
in the road, l'm going· to kis.s you. Edith-Don't you think that's go-
ing a little too far'!
Mr. Reynolds and Mr. Stapleton took their cars to Barrie last summer. (Now don't mistake my meaning. There was a Track Meet in the coun-
ty town). On the way home Mr. Stap- leton roared past Sonny at umpty- one miles per hour. Next stay Stapes met Sonny with his ear in a sling and his bald spot completely cover- ed with bandages. "Why the bandag- es" asked Stapes. "Say," said the Fair One. "When you passed me last night you were going so fast that I thought my bus had stopped and I got out to see what was wrong."
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Miss Clark says that the people who study mathematics are the ones that count.