Page 89 - 1985

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FORMAL FORMAL FORMAL
TODAYaL 8
BECI S AT
The Formal
Oh my gosh! It's April 1st and no one has asked me to the formal yet. Is there something wrong with me; am I a social outcast? I knew I shouldn't have eaten those six chocolate cakes; I knew I should've bought some Clearisil. I have my list of likely prospects, maybes and last-minute hurrys. I f worse comes to worse, I will ask someone myself, however, that would totally degrade me the rest of my highschool years. Okay, I've already resorted to smearing my name all over the male washrooms, along with my phone number and a list of bribes which include:
1) a paper bag (for the guy's head)
2) financial assistance
3) a guarantee that I will walk ten paces behind him at all times.
I've placed an ad in the local newspapers and am now starting to hand out flyers advertising myself. Low and Behold! I have been asked, and the big day has arrived. After coming home from my hairdresser, Hellen Keller, I had only five minutes to get ready. Of course my nylons had runs in them, that later lead to Grand Canyons. My nails were chipped, my head was shaved, m y dress was a K -Mart polyester special. N o t t o worry though, because the important factor is that I made it here!!
1. Hold me now.
2. Dynasty.
3. Sexy and 17!
4. The pink panther strikes again! 5. Smile Jill!
6. Check out my tan line!
7. You must be my lucky star! 8. What's love got to do with it? 9. All night long.
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